Sewell & Marbury

No matter how hard i try

I can not forget that i've failed in a subject...

I watched a movie, talk to my sis, spend time with friend, but there is nothing that can ever replace the agony that i'ld feel when i'll write the status 'ex' in my exam papers...

I ride faster without a headgear for just having a reason to cry

Mixing the tears with the water that come out when you ride fast without blinking...

H is dried 2 O

It sure as hell doesn't feel okay no matter what

But In the midst of gloom, it's the crimson that bloom...

I can't expect mercy for what i've done, I can't even expect a miracle change in my study patten too...

I hope things go better...

There's little practical things to hope for

Everyone thought i could never fail

I too thought the same way untill the results came

Now I keep asking myself Like S Hawking- "Why are we here?"

There's a simple answer to know me, just guess which movie I'm talking about...

You'll get the keyword to my spirit..

Regrettably there isn't an Undo for what you've done in the life, or what has happened...

People ask me how's my result, I bury myself alive...

There'll be days ahead like this only, til the next semester results come out

At least i can hope for it

Till then, Lets hope for the best and prepare for the worst...

Ssssshhhh.....!!!!

Silence is killing...

Throughout the years i've been writing 'abominable lull'

M feeling it today

Why?

Got my second semester result and as expected, I got a back in M-II

Does it hurts? What a stupid question to ask for myself.. Ofcourse it does

I did test my skills today... Mocking my own self for no reason. I could have cried

In front of my mom or on phone with my dad

That may have bought me some sympathy...

That was the way things used to be.. Today i wanted to face the failure on my face...

Watch my tears dry inside my eyes... Feel the pain die inside the way it wiped out the status of 'REGULAR' off my mark sheet

I wanted to be true to myself

It doesn't mean that i don't care about my father's feelings..

The purpose of the existence of my studies is solely cuz of his belief...

I just wanted to breath out of my sophisticated fabric n taste the delights of such a situation

I don't feel anything today in particular

I'm not even happy for what I'm writing now.. But I just need to write it down somewhere

May be I'll edit it someday but not today

It isn't planned or framed today...

I'm facing misery and that does hurt

I've been through these things quite a lot and after a few days they too fizzle out of my mind

But this time!!!

They'll live inside me...

Will find time to write here every weekend, be more planned and disciplined...

There are loads of unfinished business..

Don't waste time reading my blog...

The thing that will make things more productive is

P A S S I O N

Thundercats

Man!!!!

What a weekend

When you spend 72 hours of your weekend doing just one job,

there's one thing for sure that you'ld feel at the end of it

BORED

I was ill. Fever..

Saturday's college is the most cursed day of the week

I sang and danced for my team assigned for last week's GD lecture...

It was fun but at the end of it, all that was left was a broken, tired to the core sick M E who needed some help

Apparently nothing happened...

When i came back home and slept for just 200 minutes, every pore on my body leaked, every sweat gland activated, whole body perspired.

Everything was wet when I woke up... That's not the end, I spent next day just like dat

Had to miss the movie cuz i was sick

Anyways m fine and going college tomorrow...

Lets see how much more i've missed..

waiting for the second semester's result

Keeping my finger's crossed...

I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good

Its been quite a few hectic weeks

I went out to party with friends

Pizza hut does taste good

Got a new wardrobe(forgot to tell in the previous post)

So where does the title comes to question

Problem is there are some girls who want me to be theirs.

I don't think m ready for any relation in the near future..

N i don't want to repent over my decisions so m keeping them calm with a stern straight forward answer

"I won't b into any relation for next several months"

This is a warning or a confession to say to them that stay away from me.. M no longer a good guy...

Planning to make a new blog

Will keep you updated..

Waiting for my semester results.. Keep your finger crossed...

Night before EEES

I've been trying real hard to get past some erratic relations and i've come far enough to be successful

Sudden mood swings which used to give me whiplash are a thing of past

With a more punctual routine, there is indeed more to come

But why the hell m i writing this for

here's the story

46 hours before 'the' was typed, i was sitting in the Pizza hut

wondering what should i be doing now if i were home

definitely! i'ld have been hitting the strings of my guitar to set my tone al right rather than studying for EEES.

Anyways pizza arrived n it was exceptionally ordinary

So was the garlic bread

I was moving from the lullabies to dreamz

Enter the devil's own

My goodness! What a drink!!! Though it missed the perfect mark but for such dull night, it was great

Caffeine started picking up my mind n sort of frenzy began...

It was impossible to stop... Nothing caught me then..

With my I pod playing 'trembled for my beloved' and icy windy way to home, life started having its meaning.

Its not who you are underneath, But what you do that defines you

whomsoever said it must be goddamn right

I'm tired of thinking the way things can be, tired of planning, tired of letting everyone live the way they want to

All I care for is now.

I'm busy living.. Taking back control of my life..

What've you done lately?

Welcome!!

This happens to be my baby steps towards a vast dynamics called Blogs...

Being an engineer in India won't buy me the time to be active here but surely there'll b stuff that most of you would like...

Or rather stuff that i'ld like to share with you all

Name makmares is something that clicked me when i was bidding goodnight to one of my friends

a very close one that time

It pains deeply that its over now but this is what life is

You move on until the road ends..

Philosophy

Books n novels

Guitar

Psychology

and writing are my likes so this will be up for this blog for now

Also there are unexplored vistas that even i want to find out in me

There'll be your comments responses problems and solutions and anything that you want to discuss

In all, this blog is a sincere effort of a Man's Search For Meaning...